Here I Am

Plus where I am...

boy only;

boy[] newYork;

for(int i=0; i<newYork.length; i++) {

 if(newYork[i].living==true) {

  only=newYork[i];

  break;

 }

}

The Only Living Boy in New York Simon and Garfunkel

Lunar Eclipse

If music be the food of love..

moon.hit(you.eye);

function hit(object) {

if(object.size>=big && object.like(pizzaPie)) amore=true;

}

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore. Harry Warren and Jack Brooks, sung by Dean Martin

Miscellaneous

A few proverbs and sayings:

life.shit=true; you.die();

if(bird.early) bird.catch(worm);

for(Vessel v : vessels) if(v.empty) vessel.makeNoise(max);

if(cooks.length>=tooMany) broth.spoil();

for(Cloud c : clouds) c.lining=silver;

Life is shit and then you die.

The early bird catches the worm.

Empty vessels make the most noise.

Too many cooks spoil the broth.

Every cloud has a silver lining.

Grave Concerns

The wisdom of clowns:

they.giveBirth(grave);

function giveBirth(astride) {

light.gleam(instant);

night();

}

They give birth astride of a grave, the light gleams an instant, then it's night once more. Samuel Beckett, Pozzo - Waiting for Godot

Stargazing

Some perspective:

us = new array();

for(i=0; i<us.length; i++) {

us[i].location=gutter;

if(random.nextBoolean()) us[i].look(stars);

}

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde

An Explanation of Sorts

Just a brief intro to this complete waste of time. I've always enjoyed seeing natural language expressed as code, as in this example. This type of thing happens quite often on places like Twitter, as in the recent #MovieLinesInCode extravaganza, discussed in this blogpost.

Here are some of mine:

1. !me.push();
   
2. space[i].hear.scream=0;
   
3. encounters[3]=close;
   
4. person[] home = new person[1]; home[0]=kid;
   
5. frankly.damn=0;
   
6. ET.phone(home);
   
7. for(i=0; i<president.men.length; i++)
   
8. that.equals(me.family) && me.family!=me;
   
9. for(i=0; i<slaves.length; i++)="" slaves[i]="spartacus;
   
10. for(i=0; i<bodySnatchers.length; i++) bodySnatchers[i].invade();
    
11. if(thing.moves==true) frank.fuck(thing);
    
12. if(this.power==great) this.responsibility=great;
    
13. place[i].like(home)==false;
    
14. me.mad.amount>=hell && !me.take(this) break;
    
15. me.big=true; pictures--;
    

English translations:

1. "Don't push me." //Rambo
2. "In space no-one can hear you scream." //Alien
3. Close Encounters of the Third Kind
4. Home Alone
5. "Frankly my dear I don't give a damn." //Gone With the Wind
6. "ET phone home." //ET
7. All the President's Men
8. "That's my family (Kay) it's not me." //Godfather - not 100% correct but hey
9. "I'm Spartacus" scene. //Spartacus
10. Invasion of the Body Snatchers
11. "I'll fuck anything that moves." //Frank, Blue Velvet
12. "With great power comes great responsibility." //Spiderman
13. "There's no place like home." //The Wizard of Oz
14. "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this any more." //Network
15. "I am big, it's the pictures that got small." //Sunset Boulevard

Anyway, being a total weirdo who spends more time interacting with computers than with humans I find that computer language has influenced the way I perceive things. For example, when I go swimming, I think of each length as incrementing something larger as part of an iterative process. So rather than seeking professional help for what's clearly the makings of a personality disorder, I thought I'd start a blog dedicated to expressions of something other than instructions for a computer through pseudocode.

Don't Ask

Object oriented wisdom:

shyness.nice=true;

class life {

   things=array();

   you.like=things;

   if(shyness!=null) break;

   else do(things);

}

Shyness is nice but shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life you'd like to. The Smiths, Ask

On Friendships

Let's kick things off with this:

class man {

    bestFriend=book;

    class dog {

        dark=10;

        canRead() {

            if(this.dark>0) return false;

            else return true;

        }
    }
}

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. Groucho Marx